Carmichael vs Beale

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Let me begin by stating very clearly, that I love being Mr. Beale.  I have loved it for the last 7 years, and I will continue to love it for the rest of my life.

Sometimes though, I catch myself doodling my signature with my maiden name.  I can’t quite put my finger on why.

I signed that name for so long.  Everyone in my hometown knew me by it.  It was who I was for the first 19 years of my life.

Zoey Carmichael was a different person than Zoey Beale.  She was single, she was a workaholic.  She was proud, a little selfish, extremely impulsive, a dreamer, and a ride or die type of best friend.  She had the worst potty mouth.  She played volleyball and softball.  She sang solos in choir concerts.  Her dance moves had once been described as similar to ‘a stripper with ADD’.
Zoey Carmichael was Sami and Sabrina Carmichael’s sister.
Fast forward post marriage and babies.
Zoey Beale is a wife and mother.  By day she changes diapers, packs lunches, kisses boo boos, goes to work, brews a lot of coffee, makes lists ontop of lists..and by night she writes.  She reads her bible, furiously scribbles in her journal, and she worries way too much.  Her hips swing the way they use to when she tries to dance.  Zoey Beale has mom hips.  She still loves her friends dearly, but is no longer able to drop everything on a whim to be there for them like she use to be.
Zoey Beale?
Who??
Is she related to those Carmichael girls?
The thing is, I don’t like one Zoey more than the other.  Instead of viewing these two identities as separate, I prefer to see Zoey Beale as the grown ass woman version of Zoey Carmichael.
I have managed to hang on to a ton of qualities and quirks that Miss Carmichael carried.  Obviously I still have that potty mouth.  I’m still a dreamer, impulsive, and will unfortunately be forever clumsy.  But I am so much smarter now, and I like that I am a little less selfish than I once was (being responsible to keep a couple tiny humans alive will do that to you I suppose.)
I still have a couple of old high school shirts with CARMICHAEL written across the back.  I will cherish those forever, and remember my glory days every time I wear them.  But then, I look at my wedding band and feel that these glory days are just as important, and bring to the surface the same type of pride in my heart.  I am now simultaneously my husband’s wife, AND a Carmichael sister.  Talk about a win-win.
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Father’s Day Shoutout 2018

I missed a Father’s Day shoutout because I wanted it done properly.

This day in target was hell.  We scouted out this awesome cart in the hopes that the kids would be amused enough to SIT the entire time.

That was cute.

Brayden was obsessed with all the Pokémon items the store had on display, and made it known.  Nova screamed until we let her out, where she proceeded to run through the aisles growling like the hulk, and climbing on top of all the shelves like a tiny Godzilla.

After 20 minutes of dirty looks from the other customers as well as making little to no progress on our shopping voyage, we decided that you would take the kids outside to the car and I would finish the grocery shopping.

So THEN I made a spectacle of my own.  Ramming into everything under the sun.  Because that cart is ridiculously oversized.  And continuing to get dirty looks from the other customers because they were probably wondering WHY I even had a cart specially designed for kids, without any kids in it??

I’m so grateful that you are who I get to create these memories with.

The level of father you are can be deciphered with a peek at the way our kids light up when you get home from work.  No matter what job you have had throughout the years, it’s typical for you to come home either exhausted, covered in grease/dirt, sunburnt as all get out, or a mixture of all three.  And yet the first thing on your agenda is to have yourself a proper tickle fight with the kids.

I am so lucky to have you as my team mate.  Many days you do more than your fair share of the workload.  Not to mention your patience becomes increasingly impressive every year.  The way you find creative ways to help Brayden learn something new makes my heart warm and fuzzy.  You are involved. You are setting an amazing example.  And you are so damn appreciated.  

Happy belated Father’s Day to the love of my life and my biggest supporter.

P.S. You just came into my office (/closet) and plopped a quesadilla on my desk.  And you are appreciated for that as well, good sir.

I Am

 

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I am.

These two little words will shape your entire world if you let them. Our mind eventually believes what we tell it. Especially when we tell it something repeatedly. That’s why affirmations are such a powerful tool in creating the life you want, and the life you deserve.

When we declare something to be true, (even if it isn’t) the act of holding the vision in our mind’s eye is something that accelerates our feelings of it coming true. And even if the words we declare never become true, it can still be a healthy exercise to feel them.

I read somewhere that the process of planning a vacation stimulates our senses of being on that vacation- almost as much as actually going on said vacation.

Whut.

I am so many things to so many people.

I am a Mother, Wife, Sister, Daughter, Friend.

I am a writer, dreamer, dancer and pretend cook.

I am happy, healthy, harmonious, joyful, and loving.

I am clumsy, shy, and simultaneously impulsive and cautious.

I am more than these words that I have used to define myself.

I am…whatever I choose to be.