Failing Motherhood

I wrote this about a year ago, and decided to share on here as well.

For any mom’s currently feeling even the slightest bit inadequate, I have some confessions for ya!

Today I caught my 7 month old daughter chewing on a tire pressure gauge, (that had somehow gotten into our living room toybox).

Similarly, a few days ago, my 4 year old son found a chicken tender in the back seat of my car- and shoved it in his mouth before I could wrestle it away.

Last week, he forced me to chase him around the porn section of family video.

Today we had spaghetti for breakfast, spaghetti for lunch, and spaghetti for dinner. (And I only washed the dishes AS I needed them.

And to top it off, despite my RELENTLESS efforts to teach my daughter to say ‘mama’, today she FINALLY said her first word…

Yes. You guessed it. ‘DADADADADADADAAAAAAAD.’

Most days I feel a day late and a dolla short in the parenting department.
The next time YOU find yourself relating, please remember this is what it’s all about. And you are not alone.

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Motherhood Is…

Motherhood is…

Being yelled at because you flushed your four year old’s poop, before he could say goodbye to it.

It’s changing 2 shitty diapers within 5 minutes of each other because the baby wasn’t finished.

Receiving approximately 72 headbutts to the nose during each child’s life.

Pretending to be civilized in the park (and succeeding!)until your offspring decides to hop up onto any available platform, and start pissing a pretty picture into the concrete.

Motherhood is having an embarrassingly long list of stories involving bodily fluids.

It is relating to that mom at the grocery store pushing a cart and a stroller by herself while trying to tame 3 hyped up kids and simultaneously grab all the groceries she needs.

Motherhood is feeling the same level of excitement for a new $8 Walmart coffee pot, as you felt for the brand new subs you blew all your graduation money for when you were 18.

Motherhood is, owning not one stain free outfit.(But who am I kidding? I couldn’t pull that off even if I was kid-free.)

Motherhood is so many things. Stressful. A learning curve. Beautiful. Exhausting. But most of all, it’s pure entertainment.